Pandurak Wennemi Man Lyrics by Paul Fernando

I will become an offering,
seated upon the cross,
pouring out my blood,
I will become an offering
nailed and hanging upon the cross,
I will become an offering

Nails driven through both hands,
both legs bound and fixed,
the side pierced through,
the blows of the whip falling,
oh, if only I could have been like you, Jesus

Spittle flung upon the face,
the blows of the whip landing,
the side pierced through,
mocked and jeered at,
oh, if only I could have been like you, Jesus

This is an intense devotional hymn, and it expresses one of the deepest and most demanding longings of Christian faith, the desire not merely to be saved by Christ’s suffering but to share in it. Its refrain is startling in its willingness: “I will become an offering, seated upon the cross, pouring out my blood.” The singer wants to give himself completely, to be poured out as Jesus was.

The verses then walk deliberately through the details of the crucifixion, “nails driven through both hands,” “the side pierced through,” “the blows of the whip falling,” and, in the second verse, the humiliations, “spittle flung upon the face,” “mocked and jeered at.” This is not morbid dwelling on pain for its own sake; it is a meditation that keeps ending on the same aching wish: “oh, if only I could have been like you, Jesus.”

That refrain is the heart of the song. It is the prayer of a love so moved by what Christ endured that it wishes it could have stood in his place, or at least suffered alongside him. This echoes a long Christian tradition, from Saint Paul’s desire to “share in his sufferings” to the imitation of Christ, of wanting to be conformed to the crucified Lord out of love. What the listener is left with is not comfort but devotion at its most costly and sincere, a heart gazing at the wounds of Jesus and longing, if it were only possible, to have borne them too.