Sithata Hora Man Lyrics by Rahal Alvis

Hiding it from my own heart, I have become yours now
Hiding it from the world, I will love you
For her sake, I will keep my distance
Loving you from far away, I will love you
I don’t understand why these tears come like this
My love will not part from me until I die….

Even the sighs that kiss my eyes wound this heart of mine
These tears that keep flowing from my eyes shake my mind
Holding back the welling tears
If I am to die in your smile, then let me
Let me die in it then….

Moon that rose in the sky on a night long ago
Rise again tonight in my sky, in secret
(Do you know, I don’t know, my love
Do you exist, I don’t know, in my world…///)
Do you feel it, I don’t know, my love….

Hiding it from my own heart, I…/

A young man is in love with a girl he can’t bring himself to tell, not the world, not even his own heart. That’s where this song lives, in the ache of a love kept secret. He says he has fallen for her “hiding it from my own heart,” as if even admitting it to himself feels dangerous, and he promises to love her “hiding it from the world.” For her sake he chooses to stay away and love her from a distance, the kind of quiet sacrifice where you put the other person’s peace ahead of your own longing. The tears come and he doesn’t even know why, only that this love will stay with him until he dies.

The middle of the song is where the feeling pours over. He talks about sighs that “kiss” his eyes and tears that keep flowing and shaking his mind, the picture of someone trying to hold it together and failing. Then comes the line that gives the song its weight: if he is going to die anyway, let him die inside her smile. He isn’t being morbid so much as saying her smile is the one thing worth surrendering to, the only ending he would choose.

The last verse turns to the sky. In Sinhala love songs the moon (sanda) is the standing image for a beloved’s face, a calm, gentle light that comforts rather than dazzles. He calls her the moon that rose in his sky on some night long ago and begs her to rise again tonight, “in secret,” because his whole love is a secret. The bracketed lines are the saddest part: do you even know, do you even exist in my world, do you feel any of this? He has loved her this hard and still has no idea whether she knows he’s alive.

What the listener is left holding is the loneliness of one-sided love. He has given everything inwardly and asked for nothing back, content to worship from far away and to vanish into her smile if that is all he ever gets. It’s love as quiet devotion, beautiful and a little heartbreaking, sung by someone who would rather keep his feelings hidden than risk troubling the person he loves.